Diary 2003

December 12, 2003

My dearest,

I'll probably not be able to constantly update the site in the next few weeks: I'm gonna have more busy days, mixed with Christmas Holidays that will be spent in Naples.
So you're probably gonna miss me...I hope.
But let's think that this will just last for a while, and that new and more exiting updates will come.

I love you all.

December 5, 2003 Changes

Lately i received some great news about my professional future: from January I'll start a new job here in Hewlett Packard. I'll be working as a Sales Specialist for the Software division.
This tells nothing to you all, probably, but i can say to you that this is really great: it's something i've been wishing to do for so much long, and now it seems to become true.
I'll tell you more about it, but I'll wait for the things to be completely done...

Changes give me reasons to go on. And so lucky it comes that changes lately often come, so sweet in my ears, so calm on my skin....
And changes keep me alive...

Yes i feel so alive lately: I'm in love.

November 25, 2003 Walking in Amsterdam (with a Mexican)

I will forever remember the time that I can't precisely remember anymore, the time in Amsterdam...spent with Dario by my side and with a Regine in my mind.
The time when I completely turned off my life and lost myself in a paradisiac state, made of the moment that exists now and does not exist anymore after...the moment spent with Dario by my side and with a Regine in my mind.

I've seen the city as I never did before. It's a wonderful city, Leidseplain in Christmas seems a postcard alive with people and music moving togheter in perfect armony, and the quiet in Rembrandt plain with trees and coulors mixed like in a paint, and the silent walking of the people and their faces...and the fresh and comfortable air of the outside and the warmt of the insides, and the guys they all seemed to complete the scenes.
I had a magic walk started in Vondelpark and ended up in Damrak....through Leisdeplain so dreamly...Oh my God I was so happy I wanted to cry because it seemed so beautiful and perfect in armony....and I remember the guys approaching girls in a van just outside the Burger King, and me Dario and Lello watching the square like in an ecxtacy state. I wanted to shout but I could understand my state of conciousness...but I would have shouted "this is perfect! This is perfect!"...Then the walk across the canals, round 6 p.m. in November Amsterdam is a wonderful presepe....i couldn't believe how magic the atmosphere was, while crossing on bridges and watching the city night lights so splendid. This means perfection I thought.
Then the arrive in Rembrantplain. Whow! I was feeling in a movie....we sat in a Coffee perfect the place with a sort of guard so impressive...we reached armony and special quiet in there.
Happyness was so close that I could touch her.

I will forever remember the time that I can't precisely remember anymore, the time in Amsterdam...spent with Dario by my side and with a Regine in my mind.

November 24, 2003 ...

Heroes for peace! They call them heroes for peace... There must have been a misunderstanding, I think. Or I got it wrong...
But I know I got it right unfortunately.
We invade, we destroy, we occupy, we help in moving governments, we support a masquerade tiranny....and then we say we die for peace???
We die for hate, for money, for fear, for ignorance.
And no heroes could be found if not for an evil trial to get the nation touched and reunited around the guilty of those sending heroes there, a guilty they try to hide behind the stupid common sense of coutry-proudness.
We have heroes for war. Heroes for war.

November 17, 2003 Regine

Regine, sometimes we're on a plane without control. Sometimes we're in the same dream. Sometimes we can't stand it. Sometimes we pretend to be undone. Sometimes we breathe the breath, and we get done. Sometimes i keep you in my hand. Sometimes i picture you in the blue.
And in the blue, an incredible trip.

And Regine you are. Regine you look. Regine you move.

Regine you are.
November 12, 2003 Bell' Rosca'!!!

Rosario became a Doctor today: Degree in 'Conservazione dei Beni Culturali'.
I'm very proud of you Rosa', and feel so emotioned and moved when i look back to all those years spent together and so far away. Remember, you called me 'O' Gesuita'? You became a Gesuita too, no? Or something close...Remember we fighting and you beating me? Remember me blaming your way of treating studies and school? Remember Missione Magliana?
Rosario, do you remember?
I always kept you with me as one of the more precious persons i know, persons i have.
You are one of the signs that make me understand that my life is worth living.

This site often thought of you, from the elections to Missione Magliana....we've been close.

Auguri Rosario.
Moreover....Bell' Rosca'!!!

November 7, 2003 ... Dormant state's over: a new musical project's on the way with Maiso...
Soon the shocking announcement.

November 6, 2003 We come undone

I don't really know what to say. It was simply magic.
Maiso, and Matteo and Guni and Luca and Izzy (Iggy???) and Stefana and Cip and...
And Maiso Maiso Maiso
And Matteo Matteo Matteo
And Guni Guni Guni
Northen places keep me cool...

Maiso, Matteo, Guni...picture in your mind a place full of different beautiful colours...and then close your eyes...and then see that that light doesn't go away that easily: this is your house for me, this is how my memory recalls your beautiful place...every second. Every second.

Thank you
November 5, 2003 ...

Screw me love.
Screw me deep inside my heart.
And turn me upside down.
And do it again.
And never stop.
Hold me love.
And kill me if you want.
Face pale, face white face with pale red spots like strawberries on a field of wheat. So immense.
Shake me love.
Hold me love.
And never stop.

October 31, 2003 ...

I live in a Country where they pretend caring about a crucifix in a classroom and make such a mess about it, while wars, sex and egoism seem to be something right written in our Constitution.
I'm surrounded by people saying  they're religious, while they shape religions upon their comfortable lives...wasting things, using sex as a toy, and mostly taking part, with all the things they do daily, to this evil society.
You can be good and fair also doing all the things you'd not be allowed by a set of old fashioned rules...but don't you think that the time-changing rules are a clear demonstration that faith, spirit and your God is something coming from the ground, instead that from above?
God bless you bigots and biased!

October 31, 2003 Theatres and characters

I went to see a show with Anita yesterday at Teatro Vittoria, her Theatre: the show, named Alcazar, was quite funny and good.

I'm moving from Rome this weekend for some job affairs, and i'm coming back on wednesday. I'm gonna meet one of the greatest characters i've ever known, and one of the best friends i ever had: Maiso

Maiso 1
Maiso 2

October 28, 2003 Nostress

A new band is born: Nostress

Good luck Giorgio, Dario & co.
October 27, 2003 Modern dance

Sometimes i cry because of music. When they gave me as a birthday's present 'ecstasy' by Lou Reed, I was deeply touched by 'Modern Dance', and i started crying.
Please, read the lyrics, so that you understand.

October 27, 2003 Ben Harper live

Dario, Lello, Marianeve, Manuela were in Rome this week end also because of the concert. The time we had was good, even f i'm not really a fan of him.
I wish my brother and all my friends will one day come and live forever here in Rome...

The other things are going quite ok. It's getting cold here and the heaters are going to be turned on again. Next week i'll be in Milan to work, and as usual i'll take time to visit friends i hardly have the chance to meet.

We also played lately and it was emotioning indeed: one of the best things that could happen to you is hear people singing your words...
October 16, 2003 'Blues' is the colour i see too often

Did i ever guess why they call it the blues? No
But at least i understood very good what it is or mean. Why I'm so weak? Why do i put myself in situations that make me feel like that? I sometimes thought that i go searching for this kinda things or i prefer standing in moods like this....addicted to thoughts? addicted to suffering?
10 years ago i wrote a song about this mood, 'cause i was already aware of the way i was done and the problems i would have been facing all my life long: innocent young child.

At least i got many things to see, tell, remember, think about...and be happy about.
I received an award from HP for a good job i made about a project regarding sales tool and things like that. I was very proud.
I bought some new furniture for my beautiful house: a desk, a little table for the living room.
Last 2 nights Marco and Domenico came to visit me and we really spent beautiful hours.
I'm planning a trip to Amsterdam with some friends.
I'm in love with my music again.
I'm writing a lot of new lyrics.

I mostly need a change. Fresh, fresh, fresh new air.
October 8, 2003 Berlin

I'm spending nights on my sofa listening to Berlin again and again. I think i should talk about it, and i thought about writing about the songs. I'll probably do that as soon as i'll have more time. Anyway I already wrote, last year, the review below for epinions and some other sites

It happened in 1973... It happened when none expected... It happened suddenly... I must tell... It was in 1972, one year before, when TRANSFORMER (the 2nd Lou solo album) had given to the whole World a complete and clear 'glam' and liberated imagine of Lou. Liberated from the dirty sounds of the first Velvet albums, liberated from a viola gone crazy, liberated from the hammering bongos...So free, so far from a tragedy, so clear in our ears with simple tunes and sweet melodies, so direct and childish with lyrics and chords...and at the same wild. And the World (and I) screamed in an orgasmic excitement: 'Rock'n'Roll has been naked!'...'Rock'n'Roll is on its top!' ... And we were true...
But then, so suddenly...BERLIN! ... A dive deep to his soul! A dive deep to our souls and consciences! Deep into my eyes! Lou Reed crashed on the Rock arena of that time revealing his real essence, the mood and the voice he'll practice all the years following and that marked forever the image of the American Poet. All the song contained in BERLIN were one thing, one piece of heart, an unique sip of mind, an unique rush of blood. A long trip between his conscience and fears, with strings, piano, guitars.....and the Lou's evocative voice in a low tone and volume expressionism mode. Without any complication, without any musical twist, with no instrumental virtuosity or originality Lou Reed dashed naked in somebody's else room, naked with no satin dress...but full, full, full of strength and love and sadness. And this was Lou Reed, and this would have been Lou Reed...delivered to an astonished World.

When you meet someone you like so much...this is TRANSFORMER.
When you fall in love...this is BERLIN!

October 1, 2003 New Songs

Lately i was again inspired, and wrote down some new lyrics. With lately i mean a lot of time, probably...
These last mounths have really been rich with up and downs of every kind, and the situation is still going on like that. Periods like this i really can't stand, and one of the ways to escape is writing down and relax. I try to tell something...
In july i was in Germany visiting Bettina. Early in the morning, at Ciampino's Airport i wrote
'cause i was exactly feeling the same as i always did when i started a trip from places like that. When i was a teenager, moving to London, Paris, Amsterdam or wherever was so exiting and weird... from an Airport.
Then in Germany, ...a strange false story a friend told me in Munich, they were all mixed up in
"The English garden".
Back in my stupid and unexiting everyday's world, I've been really twisted up and upset, and sad, and bad about the impossibility to find, in my recent working and roman surroundings, someone to share something different from a motorcycle, a TV show or the latest gossip. I try to put it out with
"The society of blinds".
Before, now and across all this, my personal 'sentimental' situation and the ones of the people i love (Dario, Manu, Michele, Salvio, Marianeve, Luca...) made me grow up in a state of confusion and fear, and i think i lost my real believing in this things anymore. I put all this in:
"I want a life that doesn't scare me"

September 29, 2003 I want a life that doesn't scare me

I did not spend a word about my birthday weekend (September 15th) . This days I'm too lazy and tired to update seriously. Anyway, for the history....I spent that weekend havng good time with Dario, Marco, Gianfranco, Stefano, Francesca, Domenico and some others. We started in my apartment eating, drinking and smoking and then moved to Trastevere 4 a walk where we met some very interesting people.
It's good to have friends around for your birthday: it helps feeling happy and surrounded by great people.

Michele got married last Saturday and I went to his wedding. It was nice to meet all the people from the past, but things like that make me feel like in trap, and they last too long...

I wrote a new song, with a long title:
"I want a life that doesn't scare me"

September 23, 2003 11.13.11
This song was dedicated to my mother, that i love very much.
Words: Gianni Lapelazzuli for Cinico Blues

The strenght and the power
the route and the joy
the smile and the presence
in the eyes of a boy
is the essence of you
on a painted image
with a faded sunbeam
that is lightening your face
Don't you think that it's me!
don't you think that it's you!
don't you think it's the time
that makes move the baloons?
On this absurd parade
we keep moving our idols
and forget the courage
of your silent miracles
I remember those days
when i first met my dreams
and my fights and my wills
with your mind in between
Don't you think that it's me!
don't you think that it's you!
don't you think it's the time
that makes move the baloons?
Don't you think that it's you!
don't you think that it's me!
if the things wouldn't change
none would still believe!

September 11, 2003 Luca and his first gallery show (pictures from last summer in Corsica)

As I always say, I can't live without being surrounded by rich, very rich persons

collateral damage
Suartone burned tree
the power of money
Suartone burned hill
the more corsican of corsican cities
the more corsican of corsican cities
road to Corte
an ancient roman bridge
road to Corte
east coast
Misser Antonu beach
here you can free you mind
Misser Antonu beach
timeless little river near Corte
La Restonica river
self portrait
Luca Savino

September 1, 2003 Gianfranco Marino, not exactly the boy next door

This is what i mean when i say that I'm proud of my friends.
This is what i meant with 'biuldings'.
Do you really believe Gianfranco is simply the boy next door?

Milano (© Gianfranco Marino)

Piazza Missori
Via Richard
Edificio nano
Via Scarlatti

August 27, 2003 Pale blue eyes

The summer holidays have been spent in Gallipoli, again as last year.
A lot of thoughts...

August 05, 2003 Falling stereotypes (2) ... (see the section travel)

...the child in me that open his eyes and finds himself living in a foreign house, in a foreign a foreing life. I was feeling exactly the way I dreamt when I started travelling around Europe...when everything around me was so unknown and to be discovered, and to be rewarded....when i asked to myself what was the meaning of feeling italian or english or spanish...when i told my mum "mum we're too much convinced about our way of living, about our stereotypes"...when I talked "Salvio the World is so big and different there outside, and we're so small"... no meanings, just sensations: all about how much i should dive myself into life.



In the travel section a brief description of the happenings by B.....this is what I've been tasting and seeing in southern Germany.

August 04, 2003 Trust? Love? Faith?...we just need an hardcore!

I'm tired. And I've lost my faith. I'm probably wakin up from a dream after a long time. No? No? World is showing its unrecoverable bad face to me...and I'm so sad. So sad. I think I should face the hard side of love. And look at it. I think I should learn to face the bad side of persons, the neverexisting true, the neverexistig right, the neverexisted dream. Friends from my dream, I know you and i know me, and I think we're too weak to react, and this will make us suffer, as we're already doing.
Plain. I'll live my life plain. Plain, Goddamn'!

July 31, 2003 Falling stereotypes

In the next days I'll be able to tell what I exactly lived last week in Germany...under a neverending rain of falling stereotypes.
Life is worth living.

July 29, 2003 The English Garden
I met a storyteller in Munich...he moved me with a story about the English Garden. You're gonna know soon....

"The English Garden"

This is a story that starts on a lake, Who's lost in a place populated by trees
And lost in an army of a thousand beers, With porches, and parfumes and where none screams.
This is a novel created in seconds, Regarding a King and his hopeless trust
Which brough him to change a land made of dust, Into a beautiful place that will forever last.
The King from a Country where love is a cheat, Discovered a place where they don't seem to care
If you're such a nice one they don't even dare, To ask who you really are as long as you're fair.
A land full of girls without a misfit, The King open-eyed uncovered his dream
Among them the one who would give him the thrills, The ones he so wanted and for so long will.
And then for her birthday imagine what's new, An so, like a fable, a good dream came true
The eyes of the girls were painted in blue, The present, a garden with flowers in bloom.
But no happy endings you should now await, Despite such a story that could seem so great
The Garden was built upon such a fake, Then something went wrong, and the girl escaped.

Love is a cheat wherever you stand
Away from your Country, inside your bed
Love is a Garden inside your brain:
Flowers will die, the green grass remain.

July 10, 2003 This is meaningless

After about one year I finished some lyrics I started and never completed. So it's not exactly how i feel now...but i think it's worth anyway.

This is meaningless
I know what you say
But since it's me the guilty one we will not find a way

This is meaningless
I don't care why we break
So go and see your pretty face in front of a new place

This is meaningless
I know what you say
But since it's me the guilty one we will not find a way
'Cause I can hardly change
'Cause I can hardly fake
And I would badly taste
Again our very first angst

This is meaningless
You know what i say?
Cause since you've gone, the days before they all seem such a waste
This is meaningless
I don’t understand
why since I'm here and breath again, I feel like I pretend

I can hardly change
I can hardly change
I can hardly change

June 30, 2003
World's unfair...

...and in decline, and guilty, and filled up with stupids and rubbish.
I've seen tons of movies lately...and i just can talk about Matrix Reloaded!!!
I've listened to new sounds and new music, and rediscovered the magic in some oldies...and they tell me about Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Cesare Cremonini...
I'm watching powerless the World to collapse with no ideal, hiding behind a wallpaper made of lies, conformism, ignorance and selfishness.

Beauty, beauty, beauty.
Money, money, money.
Soccer, soccer, soccer. (and motorcycles...)

Sometimes i wanna cry.

( be continued)

June 19, 2003
Trash in Palinuro

A couple of weeks ago we spent some days at the seaside.
Here there's some pictures.
But don't tell anyone, please.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19

May 12, 2003
he wardrobe and the kids
"Missione Magliana": the protagonists 8

A new wardrobe for my place just arrived.
I took it from IKEA...and Maiso and Marco provided the building up.
About Marco, you know already (diary).
About Maiso, you maybe remember...

My house is built on the most solid basement...
Thank you kids!

March 19, 2003
"Missione Magliana" : the protagonists 7


I found an old pocket of jewels i had
made of lapislazulis diamond and pearls
I turned up my head and stared at the sky
and found an old star shining more bright
I once crossed the line of the forever fears
but then found a sun drying my tears

I found an old pocket of jewels i had
made of lapislazulis diamond and pearls

March 14, 2003
"Missione Magliana" : the protagonists 6

Marco & the new furniture
....some new furniture has arrived!
The new bed (what a kick! what a cool! isn't it?)
The new sofas

I've been choosing it with the precious help of Marco...

© Gianfranco Marino

....Who is Marco? .....Who is Marco?
.....I really can't say, actually. Use to think of him as one of the more passionable, close, understanding, lovegiving, and openminded friend i possess! And when i say openminded...i really think of him: you can always talk to Marco about everything and in the way you want to....he'll try to catch your point of view, and that's dramatically important to me. Openminded with music, openminded with all...that does not mean he agrees...but starts, always mostly, without prejudices.
In the Gianni on Trial section there's a quote dedicated to him...and that's enough to understand what Marco is.....and means. ya remember still the night passed at Circo Massimo? There's something unbreackble between us...since then...or maybe before!...and you were also asking how much i'm true when i describe feelings!!! Do I have to cool down those? No I won't!

Thank you Marco

February 17, 2003
"Missione Magliana" : the protagonists 5

She is Manuela, Manu'... Pretty pretty, isn't she?
I gotta a painting of her in my house, i gotta her old kitchen in my house....and a lot of memories... She never came in Magliana during the setup period, but it was quite like she was standing there with us...Missione Magliana started mouths Naples...and her patience with the moving of the kitchen and the other stuff was memorable. Missione Magliana started probably a lot of time before, when we spent days with also Dario and Ciro in Paris (that is where the pricture above was taken).
Ohhhh Manu'....when i was down you were there, when i was up you where there. And i know it because i was always searching for you and your support and sustain. The only presence of you made me feel better all the time.

If i didn't's also thanks to you Manu'. I love you Manu'.

January 31, 2003
"Missione Magliana" : the protagonists 3

Anna (Mum)
She thought it, she found it, she planned it, she brought it to the goal.
What more?
The more i go on with my life, the more i understand she's behind almost all the most important things happening to me...and changing me.
From London to Magliana: I've always been driven by her strenght.
She's often complaining about my way of being...but she always gives to me the power of her concreteness.
If I'm gone far, if i've done much or few or what...if i'm like's because of her eyes.

January 31, 2003
"Missione Magliana" : the protagonists 2

Ugo (Dad)
He's been doing about everything in his possibilities, as usual for him. It would never had started, or it would...but not with the armony it did.
He always understands me, and always tries to when it really gets harder: and even when he can't...he his way.
I've never felt alone, thanks to him. I always felt safe...because of him.
To do the right things you need brains. But to do the things right you need heart...And i always think I'm doing things as they should be done...when i'm with him.

Life is worth living.

January 31, 2003
"Missione Magliana" : the protagonists

To inaugurate a brand new place, a brand new moment, a brande new thing, I've always been obsessed by the song which should have been embracing the whole situation.
This time, imagine, was really hard to choose, i think the most difficult choice of this kind 4 me: so i let my instinct decide...
Someone who knows me would have bet about Lou Reed, or Elton John....but this situation digs the deep inside to the faraway memories....and sets a link between what i've been, what have truly moulded me the way i am, the way i look the way i feel...and what i'm living now in every feel.
Two songs have been opening the new house:
'Cara' - a Lucio Dalla song - from 'Lucio Dalla' and 'the best of' albums
'TV Movie' - a Pulp song - from 'this is hardcore' album

...a dive deep into myself.


"Missione Magliana" January 28, 2003

This week has gone. Last week's just passed. And what a week!
This has been probably one of the most important and intensive period of my whole life.
I had to move to a new home. I had to have a new start. I had to push the dust away...from myself. And things have started moving around like a a symphony...just like a Velvet Underground song, distorted...seemingly disorganized...just like an harmonious whole of strange noises...making together a marvellous sound, a sound that breathes, a sound that makes some deeply hidden strings of the inside move...
All them helping me in that way...Mum, Dad, Rosario, Enzo, Dario, Fabio, Manu, Luca, Antonella, Stefano, Melina, Marzia, Maria, Ignazio, Mauro, Giovanni, Lello...just like a Velvet Underground song.
All is almost started last saturday, when Dad and Enzo and Rosario came from Naples with a little truck! bringing and installing the furniture. Mum had arrived the day before, with Dario and Lello: and that nite "Missione Magliana" just started.
I have to say that the week before Luca prepared the most of the electrical plant, while me and Mauro setted up with the electrical power Company.
Saturday morning was so intensive with the guys bringing the things from Naples: they just left at midday, and all it was sad.
Then on Sunday me and mum went to Ikea to take a washstand, Marziano would have installed the day after.
Then the whole week passed among the activation of gas power contracts, the kitchen set up, Mum triyng to clean up as possible, Antonello finishing with the floor tiles, Dad installing some furniture in the 2 sleeping room (one i'll rent, on friday a germangirl will arrive for a couple of mounths), Antonella helping mum with the cleanings, Marziano, preparing the bathroom and the other hydraulic things....
...and yesterday Luca tryied the radio aerial for the television.
The result? Last nite was the first nite i slept in my new home!
Thanks, thanks, thanks and love to all who helped me.
Many of them i'll forget in this writing but many of them are showing their beautiful faces...below. And i wont forget Rosario, i dont have any picture now but i remember him with this historical link.


marzia & luca
melina, maria, ignazio..
antonella & stefano
giovanni & mauro

January 17, 2003
I'm in love with this man.
Completely in love.

Jarvis Cocker

"You might have changed your mind and seen your friends..."

January 03, 2003
Things to save

2002's just blown away....with lots of things to save....

- You
- The trip in Paris & Amsterdam
- 16.12.2002
- 16.12.2002 again
- dresses a new suit
- Pulp
- Budapest
- Maiso's party (7.12.2002)
- G. M.
- Tattoo!!!! Yue' Le'
- The "CD collection" grows again
- A mounth in Naples...injured
- Gallipoli
- 16.12.2002 again....The house is mine!
- Jarvis Cocker
- A newly reemerging George Michael
- Patet'
- ...